Learned it the hard way

That day she cried, after a very long time.

There was no need to hide her tears anymore. There was no one who would have really cared anymore. Her tears were the proof that she tried, yet they also proved that she was defeated. She couldn’t stay the Impassive Frame for too long. She couldn’t deny that she too had a heart after all, which felt, which burned and often got hurt. Her tears justified that humanity had ceased to exist long ago. People around her were narrowed down to their meaner spheres, carried by their selfish motives. It broke her heart to realise that all this time she had been used by people for their personal benefits. Even though she claimed to have build the walls too high, she still got hurt. It was not because the walls were not strong enough to stop them, rather, the people who were already inside that wall were cruel enough to break them.

Yes, the people inside the walls. The ones she had trust on, The ones she had expectations from, the ones whom she considered her confidant. They smashed and burned those walls, destroying her from within. They claimed to be beside her through thick and thin, but as soon as their motives were accomplished, they left her. This was nothing new to her, but still every time it repeats, it leaves a scar on her. Every time a person breaks her trust, there is a person who loses his chance of gaining her trust. And after all this while, when her circle of letting in and letting go has been repeated a number of times, there is hardly anybody left to mend her broken pieces. They were her closest acquaintances. They were her trusted ones. But they were only there to take something from her; fill their own bags, even if that meant emptying her bag. The monstrous face which those people had shown to her was strong enough to invert her belief on humanity.

Yes, she has labelled them.

Yes, she walks with a set of prejudices in her mind.

Yes, she has become cynical about life.

But that is the price she had to pay for trusting too many, too soon. And by the time she realised her faults, it was too late to walk down that lane. The damage was already done. All that she could do was build a wall little higher. So she did.

Now, nothing new can permeate that wall to strike her hard, but the people within still hold potential to repeat those scars.

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